Benefits of Venting Suppressed / Repressed Emotions in Healthy Ways

Imagine what it would be like to process anger, grief and other painful memories from your mind and body and begin to live a more conscious life. We can do this through appropriately venting painful emotions. Discouragement of emotional expression is deeply embedded in our society, i.e. women should not be aggressive and men should not cry. We bottle up or block emotions and they remain in the subconscious or unconscious mind. If we do not express bottled up emotions they can hurt us mentally and physically causing a distortion of mind and body. It’s okay to have strong feelings. Give yourself permission to have them. There is no need to hide or deny them. Healing painful emotions is a natural process. Exploring our emotions, accepting them, and learning to deal with them in harmless ways can help us to live healthier, fuller lives.

The mind and the body are connected; as above in the mind, so below in the body. Every thought that we have with an emotional attachment creates a chemical storm in the brain that releases amino acids and protein chains that tell our cells what to do and how to act. When we have positive thoughts, we are at peace and are happy. When we have negative thoughts, it causes physical problems. Let’s differentiate between emotion and sensation. Emotion is a mental feeling. Sensation is a physical feeling. Even though emotions come from the mind and sensations are felt in the physical body, sensations can lead to emotions. Repressed emotions can lead to physical sensations. Often times we are not even aware of this.

Observing our thoughts and emotions without inserting additional thoughts or emotions into the observation can bring self-awareness. Mindfulness or constant, non-judgmental self-awareness only observes what is. When we focus our mind in this way, this awareness can bring painful emotions. If we ignore our emotions it is suppression. If we do this unconsciously, it is repression. We have been taught to suppress our emotions. Some of us hide our feelings so as not to have them used against us. Both suppression and repression prevent expression of painful emotions. We bottle up or block emotions and they remain in the subconscious or unconscious mind. Stored emotions know no time zone. When we experience them their origin is not taken into account. When we have painful emotions, we can express them or ignore them. When we ignore them, they fester. The release of emotions, whether spontaneous or facilitated, cannot be treated lightly. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express painful emotions. When people have been traumatized, it is helpful to have encouragement in a controlled environment with assistance in expressing painful emotions so that inappropriate expression does not manifest as a threat to oneself or others.

There are several ways that a person can safely express stored emotions. Private acknowledgement, or just thinking about them can bring suppressed emotions into our conscious awareness. With this awareness, it becomes easier to express them. Expressing our feelings in words assists with the healing process. When the words are said out loud and they are perceived by our ears, this adds another dimension to externalization. Talking to another person also helps because we can gain another perspective from a person not directly affected by the feelings. Other methods can include writing in a journal or diary, drawing on paper with crayons, tactile stimulation like modeling clay, finger painting, playing in sand, or kinetic methods including, clenching, grimacing, or beating something inanimate. Crying, though non-verbal, can be kinetic due to body movement. It is a great way to externalize suppressed feelings. When a person is expressing feelings through crying, do not verbally discourage the process. Even a hug can block the flow of expression. Offering a tissue would be a better response.

Deeply buried emotions often cannot be easily accessed. There is no need to attempt this as we explore and express the emotions closest to the surface, the deeper layers will come closer to the top as the surface layers dissipate. Sometimes they are all connected which leads to a more direct extraction. It’s kind of like peeling an onion. Emotions have a powerful charge that as we move them closer to the surface, dissipates. As a touch therapist I often help people to access suppressed emotions through specific techniques such as compression, stretching and diagonal twisting and turning. It is possible to go through many of the above means of expressing stored emotions through bodywork. Physical sensations experienced during these techniques can trigger memories of painful past events. Vocalization of these memories through words or sounds, crying or even laughter can help to dissipate the energy of these repressed emotions. As the therapist listens and dialogues with the client, not giving advice, but just listening and holding space along with Myofascial unwinding techniques, physical restrictions created in the mind and manifested in the body carrying an emotional charge can be cleared from the body. We are liberated from these holding patterns and the end result is closure.

In review, it is our resistance to expression of painful memories that creates suffering. First suppression, because we don’t feel safe to express the feeling at the time the event occurs. Then continued resistance to expression creates negative attitudes and behaviors. We often forget the original cause of the suppressed negative emotion, but the effects stay with us until expression or extraction. When all of these painful emotions are allowed to be expressed, then the suffering goes away. With the help of a trained therapist that understands the connection between the mind and body, who can take you where you need to go without crossing over your threshold, allowing you to witness the feeling, sometimes as a physical sensation, then the body memory and the emotional attachment to it can surface and be released and we are healed.